We post all these humorous quotes about people feeling beat up or let down, and we laugh, because we relate and the irony is just plain funny. My Facebook NewsFeed is ALWAYS riddled with "I hate Monday" jokes or "People are annoying" satire. And.. most of the time I tend to agree with the cynicism. And I click the "Share" button. I literally share my bitterness. Misery does love its company.
Recently I have been caught in one hell of a rut. I've been a banshee to my boyfriend, and been unavailable to my family, because I felt sad. I am a people-pleaser. I need to do everything right, and for everyone to like it. Too bad for me, I was challenged. I was working for someone who I could not make happy. I was beyond frustrated. I would grit my teeth and smile despite the many shut-downs and disrespectful dismissals. Even though I feel like I bent over and compromised my own creativity and who I am just to suit her requests, she could not be satisfied. When I decided to resign, she called me a failure.
Now, I don't think I'm a failure, but I let her get to me.. for a minute.
Now this is magic: Sacha Lalla, (my dear friend and personal coach) began her 7 week TeleSeminar a couple days ago- smack dab in the middle of my despair. I happened to be online when I got the email alert that the session was about to begin and thought "Oh hey! She's on. Lemme listen in for a bit" The topic was on "Ultimate Self Expression", and I got all the answers to the questions that were burning me in my desolate state.
The more authentic you are to yourself, the more grounded you become. I was feeling like shit basically because I was feeding that monster inside of me that does actually doubt that I am good at what I do. I was neglecting to properly nourish myself with the assurances of my reputation. I want to be like those amazing, magnetic women that enter a room and everyone takes notice. What makes them stand out? While most of us look to others or other places for inspiration and ideas, these women look to themselves! They are their own source of Beauty, Power and Magic. They don't look to others for permission or acceptance. They know who they are and what they want out of life. "They are madly in love with themselves" as Sacha puts it. I wasn't really giving myself that sort of attention. I was basing my self worth on what this woman thought of me. She and I don't even share the same taste, so why was I letting her opinion of me impact me so much? Ah. We all have our silly moments.
Sometimes we do things just for acceptance, but unless we give out of desire, we will never be giving enough. We can only share of ourselves from a place of abundance. Sacha says that "Self expression and aliveness are infectious". When we have the audacity to "Swing out" and act against our fears and what people might think, we actually inspire others to feel more comfortable to do the same. So I'm swinging out. I'm doing me. We're often shy to admit it, but there is nothing wrong with professing that we love who we are! I'm great. I'm talented, hard-working, outspoken, friendly and fun- And more so than the "I hate Monday" memes, THAT is something worth sharing.
If you would like to meet Sacha in person, she will actually be in Trinidad to lead the "Beauty, Power and Magic" workshop in April.
Click Here for details! http://www.facebook.com/BeautyPowerMagic?ref=hl
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