Swinging Out

Sometimes life just sucks.
We post all these humorous quotes about people feeling beat up or let down, and we laugh, because we relate and the irony is just plain funny. My Facebook NewsFeed is ALWAYS riddled with "I hate Monday" jokes or "People are annoying" satire. And.. most of the time I tend to agree with the cynicism. And I click the "Share" button. I literally share my bitterness. Misery does love its company.

Recently I have been caught in one hell of a rut. I've been a banshee to my boyfriend, and been unavailable to my family, because I felt sad. I am a people-pleaser. I need to do everything right, and for everyone to like it. Too bad for me, I was challenged. I was working for someone who I could not make happy. I was beyond frustrated. I would grit my teeth and smile despite the many shut-downs and disrespectful dismissals.  Even though I feel like I bent over and compromised my own creativity and who I am just to suit her requests, she could not be satisfied. When I decided to resign, she called me a failure.

Now, I don't think I'm a failure, but I let her get to me.. for a minute.

Now this is magic: Sacha Lalla, (my dear friend and personal coach) began her 7 week TeleSeminar a couple days ago- smack dab in the middle of my despair. I happened to be online when I got the email alert that the session was about to begin and thought "Oh hey! She's on. Lemme listen in for a bit" The topic was on "Ultimate Self Expression", and I got all the answers to the questions that were burning me in my desolate state.

The more authentic you are to yourself, the more grounded you become. I was feeling like shit basically because I was feeding that monster inside of me that does actually doubt that I am good at what I do. I was neglecting to properly nourish myself with the assurances of my reputation. I want to be like those amazing, magnetic women that enter a room and everyone takes notice. What makes them stand out? While most of us look to others or other places for inspiration and ideas, these women look to themselves! They are their own source of Beauty, Power and Magic. They don't look to others for permission or acceptance. They know who they are and what they want out of life. "They are madly in love with themselves" as Sacha puts it. I wasn't really giving myself that sort of attention. I was basing my self worth on what this woman thought of me. She and I don't even share the same taste, so why was I letting her opinion of me impact me so much? Ah. We all have our silly moments.

Sometimes we do things just for acceptance, but unless we give out of desire, we will never be giving enough. We can only share of ourselves from a place of abundance. Sacha says that "Self expression and aliveness are infectious". When we have the audacity to "Swing out" and act against our fears and what people might think, we actually inspire others to feel more comfortable to do the same. So I'm swinging out. I'm doing me. We're often shy to admit it, but there is nothing wrong with professing that we love who we are! I'm great. I'm talented, hard-working, outspoken, friendly and fun- And more so than the "I hate Monday" memes, THAT is something worth sharing.

If you would like to meet Sacha in person, she will actually be in Trinidad to lead the "Beauty, Power and Magic" workshop in April.

 Click Here for details! http://www.facebook.com/BeautyPowerMagic?ref=hl

Staycation

I have been working overtime! For over 3 years now, I have been constantly dedicated to making a name for myself in Trinidad's fashion industry. Coming from a place where it's all about who you know, and not what you know, provides a special challenge, especially when you don't know anyone, and no one knows you!

 I'll say that I have been doing pretty well for myself. In these three short years I have accomplished quite a bit of formal fashion knowledge from 2 different schools, I interned for an amazing Stylist and mentor, I got the chance to meet and work with some of the most influential names in the industry, started my blogs and led them to a sizable group of followers, I'm organizing my second Women's beauty and Empowerment event, I'm fashion editor for an upcoming magazine, recently built www.nomorefashionvictims.com.... I really have been going at it strongly for a while. I forget to acknowledge the tremendous efforts and achievements, and like a true catastrophizer (thank you Sacha Lalla for my new favourite word) all I could think about is how much more I need to do and how little I'm being recognized.

 If this is you- a person who is never satisfied - perhaps you are like me, and need a change in perspective. I never let anything rest. I lose sleep over every task, I only have the finish line in my mind, and I never stop to just breathe and give myself a pat on the back. So I'm going to take some valued advice from a friend, and take a few days off, to pamper and reward myself for a job well done. It need not be a job completed to deserve applause. The road is long, and one should take a pit stop every now and again to switch off and re-fuel.

Here are some ideas for a little time alone:

1. Spa Day! My favourite spa in Trinidad is the La Vita Day spa, (shown in the picture to the left) which is located at the ground floor of the Bhp Billiton building next to Movietowne. After a massage they give you 15 mins in an amazing steam shower. I think I prefer the steam shower more than the massage. Super relaxing.
If I do decide on a Spa day, I think I might give the Hyatt a try this time though. Even though the price is exorbitant, a spa visit gives you access to the pool. Now that is a nice way to finish off a day of pampering! A little dip and a cocktail.... mmmhmmm

2. Hotel Sleepover I expect that after Carnival and into Spring, hotels in the Caribbean should be begging for visitors. I have membership to Hilton's Premium Club which gives me specials on rooms, restaurant, etc. I  have had a couple negative experiences with Hilton for customer service in the past, so I won't risk going there to upset myself on my stress-free escapade. However, staying overnight, getting some room-service and taking in a view are all nice options for a staycation.

The pool at the Hyatt Regency, Trinidad

3. Beach Not only is being at the beach the most relaxing thing you can do, but living on an island gives so many opportunities for an exotic experience without having to jump on a plane! There are several beach side properties you can rent- I've been to Mt. Plaisir at Grande Riviere, and woke up to turtles hatching and making their way to the water! Even without over nighting, it's fun to drive around and find unpopular bays that are untouched by commercialisation.

4. Picnic In highschool, a bunch of  my girlfriends and I got together for a great picnic at the Botanical Gardens, after a day at the zoo. Neither the gardens nor the zoo is too tempting these days because of crime and lack of maintenance, but I'm sure there are other places that would be beautiful.

If you have any suggestions do send them my way! I plan to take my days off next week!

Power Colour

Too much of a good thing can be even greater.

When it comes to that colour that makes your feel fab in all meanings of the word- go for it! Wear it every chance you get! Revel in the compliments about your glow.

Your power colour is one that makes you feel confident and bright. It suits your natural colouring in terms of temperature and tone (cool/dark and deep/medium/light). It can have a story, as many colours are associated with different sentiments, for instance, Blue is a colour inspiring calm and trust. Orange is a colour of lust, while white is one of purity and  Purple is one of royalty. You can of course give your own meaning to your power colour by making it your own. I love yellow. It is a colour that can be associated with being aloof, but when I wear yellow I want it to mean that I am bold and confident. I am a risk taker and I don't care about the haters.

A great way to maximise you power colour is to incorporate it into a monochromatic look. This is where you assemble garments of similar hues but differing tones into one outfit, head to toe. Bonus You may appear taller and leaner. It's different from being matchy- matchy because you will be using bold pieces. We're not talking about pairing a pink plastic belt with pink rubber flip flops and a pink woogie. I'm talking about pairing a mauve tailored blazer with a fuchia silk tunic, a pair of bright burgundy peg legged trousers and some rosy blush suede pumps. See the difference? I'm including some pictures of great monochromatic looks.

SS2013 Runways

Fall 2011

www.girlsguideto.com

www.six2eleven.net

www.theavenue.blogspot.com

Are you Hiding in your clothes?

It happens to us all- we put on a little bit of weight, our muffin tops peep out and we dive into immediate panic! For a lot of women, our mid-section gives us the most anxiety! Throw in some flabby arms and thunder thighs and we just want to crawl into a cave! So we do- into a cave of fabric!

Jessica Simpson can't hide!
This jumbo sweater makes her
even more conspicuous!

That's our second mistake- oversized clothes that swallow us whole. The first mistake is that we zoned into the negatives and blew up this idea in our heads that we have lost all control and we are FAT! Yes, I said it- Fat. I'm not going to tell you you're not fat- because I am that woman- I am the woman who whines about my weight and despite my friends' encouraging words and compliments- I still call myself the F-word. Shame on me. If you call yourself a name, that's how you are going to see yourself. Instead of "fat" and "mampie" (my fave), try "Fab" or "Radiant"! You will start to look past the obstacle of a couple pounds, and recognize the dazzling smile that your weight cannot affect, or the Pantene-Ad hair! You will start to notice that all along you have had creamy skin that people must envy! Or round perky breasts like no other!

Camouflage Art by Emma Hack

So if you have all this beauty to show off, why are you hiding in XXL tents? A common misconception is that flowy fabric can conceal all. WRONG! Think about the silhouette you are creating with these pieces. What you want to do rather than hide, is camouflage. The idea you want to achieve when styling yourself, is that your strong points are highlighted and the parts that you aren't too excited about, are thoughtfully camouflaged. It's all about drawing the onlooker's eyes to where you want them.


So if your tummy is ever-expanding but you have great legs and a flawless decolletage, stick with shorter skirts (the hem must hit you at the slimmest part of your leg. This is usually a couple inches above the knee) and open necklines. Dress up your face with eye-catching earrings and va-va-voom hair. Camouflage your midsection by wearing sturdier fabrics that don't pull or squeeze around your belly. Every line and crease is a flag saying "look over here!" Consider Peplum tops that accentuate a defined waist and cover the pooch. Go for monchromatic looks, where there is no break up of colour that highlights any area on your torso.

Wrap dresses that tie at the smallest part of you are wonderful
when camouflaging and emphasizing

There are countless tips and tricks to camouflage what you don't love about yourself (yet). What you need to do firstly, is pin- point every damn detail that makes you uniquely gorgeous, and show it off!

Under Where?

When it comes to all our "underwear", another important "under" comes to thought- "Under-estimated".

Just because something is not conspicuous, does not mean it is to be passed over. After all, you would not wrap a dirty old sock in a pretty Christmas gift box, would you?

My grandmother taught my mother, who then taught me that a woman should always wear good underwear when going out, in case of a mishap, and God forbid a doctor were to see your holey granny drawers. The preoccupation of decent undies has even been expressed, despite however crudely, by Vybz Cartel in his song "No dutty panty" where he says:

"No dutty panty, No dutty panty

Mek da drawers deh, is not fi yuh auntie.

If yuh na Christian , Drawers nuh fi holey."

Spanx shapewear

Granny and Vybz may only have this one thing in common; that one must take pride in their undergarments- for whatever reason. Someone might have to unexpectedly see them... whether it be the surgeon who saves your life, or a gentleman caller. (In this case, one who loves him some cake soap) 

There are other reasons your undies are important. They are foundation garments. The cut, fit, fabric and quality affect how your clothes will fit over them. Something that skims the body and flows over your limbs as you move, will be best suited for a smooth undergarment like a full slip, or shapewear shorts- not a thong. A thong is pretty much useless and provides no support. It is best suited for very fitted pants like stretch denim jeans. In this case, the pants themselves hold you firmly, and the miniscule fabric of the thong covers the essentials from discomfort. The right underwear choice can help make you look slimmer or more shapely, but tucking or accentuating what needs to be.

Before and After Spanx
http://www.themagicknickershop.co.uk/before-after-pics
for more pics

In Tim Gunn's Fashion Bible, a whole chapter is devoted to underwear. To refer to even more dancehall lyrics about female undergarments, (I tend to do this... I quoted Buju Banton in my thesis! Got an A so it's cool) Busy Signal says that going "pantyless" provides "easy access". Classy. Tim Gunn would probably choke if he were to hear this. Tim addresses the "anti panty" sentiment, saying: 

"Wearing underwear is part of practising good hygiene, and that's part of why the pround underwearless recall to me the proud unwashed."

I'm going to have to agree with him. This "easy access" business is just nasty. I do not want to think that i'm sitting on a chair that was previously rubbed up on by some naked sweaty poonks. VOMIT!

It's not just about panties though. Your bra is also important. I recommend you get a bra fitting to ensure that you have a flattering fit (providing lift and comfort) that would help your clothing to drape properly on your body. A well-fitting bra can also make you look like you dropped a few pounds, and will eliminate any evident "back fat" or unsightly creases.

 It's pretty trendy to have exposed bras right now. Remember, once something is exposed, it becomes more than just underwear. Please make sure that it is something worthy of being seen! Also, be aware of that very fine line between tacky and tasteful.

Tacky

Tasteful

Other important "unders" are items like undershirts, or camisoles. Wear when necessary, like at work under a sheer blouse. I saw pics that a woman posted of herself on Facebook of her all "stylish" for work. She wore a chiffon blouse with her friggin leopard print bra showing through!!! Unless it is the beach, a fete or a motel- no one needs to see that. I am expecting that she was fired.

So next time you are getting dressed, consider your foundation garments just as important as any other accessory that you put on. Just like your jewellery or shoes, the choice you make with your underwear will affect your overall presentation.

So fresh and so clean!

I washed my own car the other day! Small accomplishment, I know, but I never do it myself. I always have it done for me, and mostly not often enough. The satisfaction it gave me to drive around in a beautifully gleaming car that I cleaned myself was unexpected. I wanted it to be seen! Normally I park and run far away from it before anyone can see! I'm always embarrassed about having passengers and I'm always apologizing for the condition of my grey-ing doors. It's a funny sight to see me dressed up to the stars, stepping out of a dust-covered vehicle with empty water bottles piled into the cup holders.

Photo courtesy stylemanila.com

Cleanliness is closer to godliness they say. I say, cleanliness is closer to fabulousness- being fab is pretty divine anyway. I've been going the extra mile to polish and clean everything that compliments my appearance. It really has had an impact on my confidence! The other day I put on my favourite go-to navy Nine west strappy slingbacks. Those shoes probably wince when they see me approach them because I'm telling you, they have been worn a lot! I observed some dirt stuck to the heel so went to clean it off. Then I decided to continue wiping the rest of the shoe (with my Aldo "Clean" leather/suede conditioner). They looked brand new. I swear I think I heard them thank me! It's not that they looked awful before, but A little elbow grease had them looking more expensive and more beautiful! The colour shone more and the texture was more apparent. That whole evening at the Bridal Shower I attended, I stared at them and hoped everyone else was staring too! Normally I treat them like another old pair of shoes- but this day I was acting like it was the first time I had ever worn them!

Look how happy she is with a little shampoo! lol

My point is, when we take care of our clothes, shoes, bags or even cars, it inspires an accomplished feeling that resonates with our overall self presentation. "Should I wash my hair today?" YES! "Only two toes are exposed in these shoes, should I nail polish?" YES!! "My friend is just coming over to collect something, do I really have to sweep?" YES!!! " Do I have to dry clean this dress every time I wear it?" uh..YES!! Always present yourself in a tidy and sparkling way. Trust me it makes a huge difference! You are going to want to be near to people because you are confident that you smell great. You won't mind them seeing your legs (or underarms- God knows this is a touchy topic) because you're always freshy waxed and spotless. You will have nothing to feel insecure about when everything is perfectly pampered.

Face Forward

Cosquel : Gaudy, overdone, garish. www.izatrini.com defines it as "Tacky- looking"
As a style observer, "cosquel" is one of my go-to words, as so many women in Trinidad love their head-to-toe matching bright colours. Rhinestones are a Trini girl's best friend.

However, today I'm not here to write about Chanel's magical words of advice : "When accessorizing, always  take off the last thing you put on" but instead the opposite- I'm talking about something that many women don't bother to put on at all- MAKEUP!

Sometimes we get distracted by all the print and bling that we ignore the other major style crime that is being created by neglecting the first thing people notice about us- our face! To those of you who have witnessed the magic of Spanx, think of it this way- makeup does for the face, what shapewear does for the body. It adds that extra oomph that completes your look. It is the foundation of a more polished presentation. It helps accentuate all the good stuff while downplaying the things that make you self conscious about your looks. I think it is a huge injustice to a fab outfit if you just go out barefaced and lipstick-less. It's like being barefooted in a suit.

So I can imagine u saying "I don't like the way makeup feels", "I have problem skin and makeup irritates it", "I like to look natural" bla bla bla. I'm not saying to walk around looking like Christina Aguilera. I'm just saying to apply enough foundation to even out your skin tone, and colour to highlight your natural assets.
I you're still not convinced about foundations, there are some sheer alternatives (tried and tested by yours truly) that work really well. Try tinted moisturisers or tinted BB Creams.

I got my Garnier BB Cream at SuperPharm, Trincity.
Pennywise has a wider variety of brands though.

I've been using this Garnier BB Cream (Beauty Balm) under my MAC Mineralize Skin Finish powder for a clean and fresh day look. It looks so natural yet definitely gives a better overall tone to my complexion. The BB cream also has a long list of skin enhancing benefits such as SPF and dark spot correction.

MAC Mineralize Skin finish can be bought
at any of the MAC branches in Trinidad. I got
mine at West Mall

I've gotten this tinted lip balm at SuperPharm before

If you don't like wearing makeup your daily routine can consist of BB Cream, powder, a peach blush (I like Peach Twist by MAC) mascara and tinted lip balm (try Burt's Bees) Wont take you more than 5 minutes, and you will no longer look like you're a hobo who stole someone's clothes on their way to work.

Tinted moisturisers have a bit more coverage than the BB Creams. You can get the same result by mixing in some foundation into your preferred moisturiser. It's best to use on with a good SPF protector. This is a great choice if you have dry skin, or spend the whole day in an air-conditioned office. My favourite tinted moisturiser is Hyrdra Life by Dior. With a sheer powder on top, it makes your skin look flawless.

Jennifer Lopez is a great celebrity to look at for makeup
inspiration. She always looks young, fresh and glowing.

So I'm hoping you try this out and all the compliments you get like "Did you do something new?" or "You look so refreshed today" have you excited to push this makeup experiment a little further. Trini women love them some black eyeliner. I'm guessing it comes from our heavy Indian influence. While black eyeliner looks beautiful, sometimes it can be a bit much for the daytime. If you have fairer skin, go with colours that are more bronze or copper. I love wearing plum or eggplant smudged liners during the day. Darker complexions look great with chocolate browns, navy and deep emerald. If you insist on the black, don't draw on the lower lashline, but just along the top to make lashes appear fuller. Curl lashes with an eyelash curler before applying one coat of mascara.

The last step to a basic face is to colour your lips. Anyone who knows me knows that I am borderline obsessed with red lipstick. Most of my lipsticks are red and I would wear the brightest shade to simply run a bank errand! Lipstick draws attention to your mouth and therefore to what you are saying. Avoid them looking chapped or uneven in colour. My favourite lipstick right now is Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Pink Truffle. It is the perfect nude and is so creamy and soft like a balm, but with perfect opaque coverage. My lips tend to get very dry, so this lipstick is a miracle for me.
                             

                                     

Remember, we are recognized most easily by our faces.Do you want when people cannot remember your name that they say "The really drab looking girl with the dark circles under her eyes" Nightmare! Taking 5 to 10 minutues out of your morning routine to spend on the face you put forward to the world, shows that you give a shit about yourself and the image you portray. You already have a great canvas, so do it some justice with a daily masterpiece.